Of Politics and Isms.

A short course in Political Science according to Cows...




Your lord places two cows in your care, he allows you to keep some of the milk.

You have two cows. The government takes one to give to someone else.

You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

You had two cows.  Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

You have two cows. The government takes both of them and sells you the milk.

You have two cows.  The government shoots you, takes the cows and feeds one to the army and the other to the police.

You have two cows. The government bans you from keeping them on your farmland, milking, or killing them.

You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms to account for the missing cows.

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull; take out huge loan on the cow, and ignore both the cow and the loan from that point on; then you try to milk the bull, and blame the Japanese for its lack of production.

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows, and an SBA Grant for the purchase of two more.. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the special prosecutor is on a witch-hunt.

You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Obviously, you as a Farmer, don't know what's best for you as an individual, and more importantly for Society as a whole. Therefore, you can't be trusted to make decisions concerning your own future (or Cattle Futures either.) This being the case, The Government will decide to centralize the cattle industry and run it in your best interests. Your two cattle will be "purchased" from you (at the Government determined fair market rate, less fees for shipping, handling, and of course, taxes), and taken to a central, Government run compound for proper dispensation. [See "Bureaucracy" above.] You will never taste dairy products again, but at least you will get to buy USDA Government Inspected beef (at a fair markup, of course), and you will be relieved of all the headaches associated with trying to think for yourself. Now isn't that a whole lot better?